Saturday Snap

Here's how we spent our Saturday...

We met up with Jeff's family in Little Rock (minus Amberly...she is studying abroad in Indonesia this semester). We celebrated Bill's birthday from earlier this month, our anniversary, and Heather's birthday coming up in February. 

The girls went to see Beauty and the Beast 3D! Absolutely magical. We felt like we never left Disney World. 

We then went to eat at Gaucho's, where they bring around 11 different meats on skewers for you to try. Let's just say this is not a place for vegetarians...

Happy Saturday to you!

Goals for 2012

I wanted join Crystal in planning goals for this next year.  Now I know I'm about a month late on this, but I say better late than never, right? Let's break it down...

Personal

• Read the Bible in 90 days starting in February{thanks, Sadie!}
• Continue memorizing Philippians {Started this back in the Fall with Women's Discipleship group}
• Workout for 30-45 minutes every Monday-Friday{Week 1 complete}
• Create a more structured prayer time {I pinned this designed for kids, but I think it would work for me}
• Post a "Saturday Snap" picture weekly on the blog {this will hopefully encourage me to take more pictures!}
• Read 20 books {6 down. More on that later.}
• Learn how to use our DSLR camera in the manual setting

Craft/Home

• Make or buy stockings for Christmas by November
• Make or buy Christmas tree skirt by November
• Buy a new couch after the move {We've saved about 50% for this goal}
• Learn how to applique {I would LOVE a silhouette/cricuit machine this year}
• Have sewing dates with Natasha once a week

Marriage

• Pray together every Wednesday morning
• Have intentional date time once a week 
• Participate in the Great Date Experiment every other month

Ministry

• Continue leading a Women's Discipleship group this semester and love on those girls
• Have hospitality night every Tuesday when Jeff is off
• Be more intentional about encouraging others by both words and actions i.e. phone call, note in the mail, dinner for a family...
• Help Jeff plan an activity and lesson for Ross Apartments

Woke up this morning with Texas on my mind...

In four more months, Jeff and I will be headed back to TEXAS (well for me at least!). Jeffrey has been accepted to Truett Seminary in Waco. He actually was accepted last year, but we decided to stay in Arkadelphia for another year to save money, pay off student loans, and enjoy married time without the craziness of starting back to school. Plus in the year prior to getting married, I had moved from college back home, from home to camp, out of my childhood home to west Texas, from new home back to college, and then from college to Arkadelphia. Whew! I really just wanted to unpack my belongings for a change. We have seen such purpose in our staying here and don't regret it for a minute.

Right now I feel like I'm eighteen starting the college process all over again. 

•  Deciding where to live. Close to campus or cheaper rent? 
• (Helping) Jeff apply to scholarships. 
• Both of us looking for new jobs.  

The hard part is we don't really have any connections in Waco. We know four months is still plenty of time for loose ends to come together, but I still can become weary thinking of all the things that must happen. 

What a sweet reminder that our God is bigger than all of those things. Bigger than money? Yes. Bigger than a job? Yes. Bigger than a place to live? Yes. You see, he has ALL things in his hands. Yes, even this. He owns it all. Now, this isn't to say that we don't need to be diligent in pursuing all of these things. But, there is a time when we have pursued all avenues, and we must trust God to do the rest. 

I can tell you that we are so looking forward to Jeff beginning seminary. We can't wait for the community that it will bring. We are thrilled that my family will be only an hour and half away. We also are excited to be able to grow roots together, knowing we will be there for at least four years. 

Texas, here we come!

Loss

One of the purposes for this blog was for documenting our growing family for our far away friends and family. Yes, Jeff and I found out on December 8th that we were pregnant with our first baby! We were surprised, but oh so excited for baby Green to get here. Unfortunately, we found out on our first appointment that our baby had no heart beat and died a few weeks prior. We were nine weeks along, and he was measuring at about six weeks. (For some reason we have no doubt in our minds this little baby was going to be a boy).

We were devastated.

We had told a few close friends, family, and our community here in Arkadelphia. We knew when we found out we were pregnant that something could happen to our baby, but we wanted people to know so that they could be excited with us, celebrating this new life God had given us (if only for a few short weeks). This was the email that Jeff wrote to them when we got home from the doctor on Wednesday explaining what had happened.

There is no easy or nice way to put this, but today Bailey and I found out that we lost our baby.

We are doing ok, and my family will be here tonight.The ultrasound tech told us almost immediately that she couldn't find a heartbeat.  Moments later the OBGYN (Mike) confirmed. Our baby most likely died 2-3 weeks ago.  There was most likely something genetically wrong that we could have neither prevented or discover. The baby most likely would not have lived outside the womb.We don't (and won't) know all of the specifics but we know God is sovereign and his will be done. Because Bailey's body hasn't naturally miscarried the baby we are having surgery tomorrow morning at 6:00 AM, it shouldn't take too long and we will be home by lunch. We wanted to let our community know so that you can be praying with us.  Don't feel afraid to check on us and know that there is nothing to "fix", but we will simply need our brothers and sisters in Christ to be with us in the coming weeks.

We love you all.

It's been just over a week now, and honestly it's still difficult. Sometimes life seems normal, going about the day as if nothing happened. Other moments I cry, missing our baby, and the memories we will never get to make together. When people ask how I'm feeling it's usually a moment by moment answer. Our friends and family have been so sweet to us, wrapping their arms around us, providing in tangible ways, praying for us, and just sitting while we talk about what is going on in our hearts. We are so thankful for them. God has truly blessed us.

I won't lie, I still wonder why this happened. Why us? Why now?  God has been so faithful to comfort my questions through his Word, leading me to scriptures of hope and peace. I told a friend the other day that I feel like I finally understand the heart wrenching anguish that the psalmist describes. I understand the pain and hurt that life on this earth brings but also the unending, relentless love of our Father.

This scripture from Isaiah 43 has been one that I've mediated on frequently this week. We long for the day when there is no more hurt or suffering, but until that day we cling to this promise of our abba Father.

But thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Hold One of Israel, your Savior."

I write all this to help sort out my emotions but also for others who might be going through this same journey.   Know you are not alone in your hurt. It was very comforting to us to hear stories and be with others who have been where we are. We pray that through our suffering that God be glorified. He is a good God, he loves us, and he loves that baby too.