Happy Birthday!

Happy 25th birthday to the greatest man I know! You love me so well, so sacrificially. I'm one lucky gal!

We Bought a House!

We started looking to buy after Jeff decided to quite seminary, and we fell in love with the first house we went to see.

Our cute, little home is in Benbrook, just a mile or two west from the Fort Worth city limits. It has a small town feel with all of the big city features. We LOVE it here! 

Our City Group helping use move in. We love you guys!

Next time you're in the area stop by; we have a bed waiting on you!

Life Lately

Well hello there blog, it's been awhile. February, really? I think life became too big, too complicated these last few months, that I don't think I could even find words to describe what's been going on around these parts.

Remember when we thought we were moving to Waco? Me neither :) Well, God shut several doors for us and we knew that it would not be an option for us.

We questioned. We wrestled.

We knew we were supposed to leave, but where? Slowly we began searching out churches in Arkansas for Jeff to serve while he did extension seminary out of Little Rock. Finally, we thought, we had an answer of the "where." Well, God closed and shut doors all over the state, and frankly looking back I am so in awe of God's care for us during that time. Things were not going our way, yet God knew where we were going and
had to humble us to get us there.

Finally, we decided that we would go ahead and move to Fort Worth for Jeff to do full time seminary at Southwestern. I applied for a job at Tarrant County College, and the next day I was called for an interview. There was no doubt that this is where He wanted us all along. We moved in June, right after his contract was up with Ouachita. I started work two days later.

In front of our first home

All of that was a lot for one year, right?

Well, Jeff took two classes this summer, and it was very evident that he wasn't happy with the teaching he was receiving. He received a solid education at Ouachita, and for five more years and $20,000 it just didn't seem worth it.

At the same time, we had been regularly attending The Paradox in downtown Fort Worth. It was an Acts 29 church plant, much like the one I was a member at in College Station. Quickly, we were building authentic community by living out family with one another and reaching the city around us. We knew this was a place that we could serve at and are continually amazed at what God is doing through this Body.

During the announcements this summer, Pastor Jim kept marketing a theological training that the church would be participating in with other Acts 29 churches in the area. We kept talking about how great this training seemed - what Jeff was really desiring through seminary. Porterbrook is completely Gospel centered and couples the theological with the practical. It's the church that is raising up it's own leaders, both lay and future church planters. With the leading of the Holy Spirit, we finally asked, why not? He wasn't happy at Southwestern and it was a lot of money to waste just because you thought you were "supposed" to do it.

So, Jeff quit seminary.

Exhausted yet? Me too. Now that you're caught up, stay tuned for the exciting details of what's going on now!

Preparing for Easter

Yes, I know it's still two months away, but after finishing one of the books on my list, Treasuring God in Our Traditions, I was challenged by the wisdom of Noel Piper. Preparing for Easter means preparing our hearts "remembering the lowest points of sin and the highest peaks of what God has done for us through Jesus." (Piper, 91) Yes, Easter is a beautiful celebration of our King Jesus overcoming death. It's a time to worship our living God and our eternal  life with Him. But, in preparation for the celebration there must also be a time remembering that it was me (and you) that put Him on the cross. This Lent season I pray is a time that my dependency on God is renewed, and my life is purged from anything (i.e. sin) that strains the intimacy of our relationship.

I have been known to fast during Lent from facebook, television, sweets, and cokes over the years. Although it brought much discipline in my life during that season, I think I've missed the point. It's not simply turning away from the bad, but running towards what is good, holy, and perfect. It's filling our hearts with the Gospel.

The Lenten season begins this Wednesday (Ash Wednesday), February 22. I'm still praying about what I might fast from, as I celebrate the Creator and not the created. Jeff and I are also discussing how we can prepare our hearts together as a family.

I've read several great things about A Place at the Table and the Village Church Lent guide as devotionals to use during Lent.

I hope you will join us as we prepare our hearts for the risen King!

Snow Day

We didn't get much today, but isn't waking up to fresh fallen snow just magical? No class or school cancelled here, but if it's going to be below freezing it might as well look pretty, right?

2012 Book List

My whole life I've been an avid reader. My claim to fame in elementary school was being the student with the top AR points in 4th grade. Impressive, huh? Sometimes I won't let myself read because I tend to get caught up in the characters and plot and lock myself in my room until I finish. My latest bout with that was when I read the Hunger Games. EVERYONE was talking about them, so I knew it had to be good. Four days later I emerged with the finished books...


We received a Kindle Fire for Christmas this year (thanks Mom!), and both Jeffrey and I have read several books on it. Books are so much cheaper, and I don't have to wait to get it in the mail.

After getting some recommendations from friends, here is my reading plan for the rest of the year. I'll mark them out as I finish. Maybe I'll even do a synopsis (if you're lucky).

Fiction/Memoir

• Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
• Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
• Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
• Loving by Karen Kingsbury
• I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy by Angie Smith
• A Symphony in the Dark: Hearing God's Voice in Seasons of Grief by Rebecca Rainey Muntz and Barbara Raine
• One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
• Kisses From Katie by Katie Davis
• The Pioneer Woman: From Black Heels to Tractor Wheels by Ree Drumond
• 11/22/63: A Novel by Steven King

Wife/Mothering/Home Books

• Treasuring God in Your Traditions by Noel Piper
• Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp
• The Money Saving Mom's Budget by Crystal Paine

Ministry

• Leaders Who Last by Dave Kraft
• Community: Taking Your Small Group Off Life Support by Brad House
• A Praying Life by Paul E. Miller
• When Helping Hurts by Steve Corbett
• You Can Change by Tim Chester (started this last year, hoping to finish it!)
• Every Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker
• Instrument in the Redeemer's Hands by Paul David Tripp

Social Justice

• Not for Sale by David Batstone
• The Slave Next Door by Kevin Bales
• Adopted For Life:The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families & Churches by Russell Moore
• The Natashas: Inside the New Global Sex Trade by Victor Malarek

Saturday Snap

Pinterest Project - Valentines Edition

They aren't too excited about pinterest

The finished projects

Saturday Snap

Here's how we spent our Saturday...

We met up with Jeff's family in Little Rock (minus Amberly...she is studying abroad in Indonesia this semester). We celebrated Bill's birthday from earlier this month, our anniversary, and Heather's birthday coming up in February. 

The girls went to see Beauty and the Beast 3D! Absolutely magical. We felt like we never left Disney World. 

We then went to eat at Gaucho's, where they bring around 11 different meats on skewers for you to try. Let's just say this is not a place for vegetarians...

Happy Saturday to you!

Goals for 2012

I wanted join Crystal in planning goals for this next year.  Now I know I'm about a month late on this, but I say better late than never, right? Let's break it down...

Personal

• Read the Bible in 90 days starting in February{thanks, Sadie!}
• Continue memorizing Philippians {Started this back in the Fall with Women's Discipleship group}
• Workout for 30-45 minutes every Monday-Friday{Week 1 complete}
• Create a more structured prayer time {I pinned this designed for kids, but I think it would work for me}
• Post a "Saturday Snap" picture weekly on the blog {this will hopefully encourage me to take more pictures!}
• Read 20 books {6 down. More on that later.}
• Learn how to use our DSLR camera in the manual setting

Craft/Home

• Make or buy stockings for Christmas by November
• Make or buy Christmas tree skirt by November
• Buy a new couch after the move {We've saved about 50% for this goal}
• Learn how to applique {I would LOVE a silhouette/cricuit machine this year}
• Have sewing dates with Natasha once a week

Marriage

• Pray together every Wednesday morning
• Have intentional date time once a week 
• Participate in the Great Date Experiment every other month

Ministry

• Continue leading a Women's Discipleship group this semester and love on those girls
• Have hospitality night every Tuesday when Jeff is off
• Be more intentional about encouraging others by both words and actions i.e. phone call, note in the mail, dinner for a family...
• Help Jeff plan an activity and lesson for Ross Apartments

Woke up this morning with Texas on my mind...

In four more months, Jeff and I will be headed back to TEXAS (well for me at least!). Jeffrey has been accepted to Truett Seminary in Waco. He actually was accepted last year, but we decided to stay in Arkadelphia for another year to save money, pay off student loans, and enjoy married time without the craziness of starting back to school. Plus in the year prior to getting married, I had moved from college back home, from home to camp, out of my childhood home to west Texas, from new home back to college, and then from college to Arkadelphia. Whew! I really just wanted to unpack my belongings for a change. We have seen such purpose in our staying here and don't regret it for a minute.

Right now I feel like I'm eighteen starting the college process all over again. 

•  Deciding where to live. Close to campus or cheaper rent? 
• (Helping) Jeff apply to scholarships. 
• Both of us looking for new jobs.  

The hard part is we don't really have any connections in Waco. We know four months is still plenty of time for loose ends to come together, but I still can become weary thinking of all the things that must happen. 

What a sweet reminder that our God is bigger than all of those things. Bigger than money? Yes. Bigger than a job? Yes. Bigger than a place to live? Yes. You see, he has ALL things in his hands. Yes, even this. He owns it all. Now, this isn't to say that we don't need to be diligent in pursuing all of these things. But, there is a time when we have pursued all avenues, and we must trust God to do the rest. 

I can tell you that we are so looking forward to Jeff beginning seminary. We can't wait for the community that it will bring. We are thrilled that my family will be only an hour and half away. We also are excited to be able to grow roots together, knowing we will be there for at least four years. 

Texas, here we come!

Loss

One of the purposes for this blog was for documenting our growing family for our far away friends and family. Yes, Jeff and I found out on December 8th that we were pregnant with our first baby! We were surprised, but oh so excited for baby Green to get here. Unfortunately, we found out on our first appointment that our baby had no heart beat and died a few weeks prior. We were nine weeks along, and he was measuring at about six weeks. (For some reason we have no doubt in our minds this little baby was going to be a boy).

We were devastated.

We had told a few close friends, family, and our community here in Arkadelphia. We knew when we found out we were pregnant that something could happen to our baby, but we wanted people to know so that they could be excited with us, celebrating this new life God had given us (if only for a few short weeks). This was the email that Jeff wrote to them when we got home from the doctor on Wednesday explaining what had happened.

There is no easy or nice way to put this, but today Bailey and I found out that we lost our baby.

We are doing ok, and my family will be here tonight.The ultrasound tech told us almost immediately that she couldn't find a heartbeat.  Moments later the OBGYN (Mike) confirmed. Our baby most likely died 2-3 weeks ago.  There was most likely something genetically wrong that we could have neither prevented or discover. The baby most likely would not have lived outside the womb.We don't (and won't) know all of the specifics but we know God is sovereign and his will be done. Because Bailey's body hasn't naturally miscarried the baby we are having surgery tomorrow morning at 6:00 AM, it shouldn't take too long and we will be home by lunch. We wanted to let our community know so that you can be praying with us.  Don't feel afraid to check on us and know that there is nothing to "fix", but we will simply need our brothers and sisters in Christ to be with us in the coming weeks.

We love you all.

It's been just over a week now, and honestly it's still difficult. Sometimes life seems normal, going about the day as if nothing happened. Other moments I cry, missing our baby, and the memories we will never get to make together. When people ask how I'm feeling it's usually a moment by moment answer. Our friends and family have been so sweet to us, wrapping their arms around us, providing in tangible ways, praying for us, and just sitting while we talk about what is going on in our hearts. We are so thankful for them. God has truly blessed us.

I won't lie, I still wonder why this happened. Why us? Why now?  God has been so faithful to comfort my questions through his Word, leading me to scriptures of hope and peace. I told a friend the other day that I feel like I finally understand the heart wrenching anguish that the psalmist describes. I understand the pain and hurt that life on this earth brings but also the unending, relentless love of our Father.

This scripture from Isaiah 43 has been one that I've mediated on frequently this week. We long for the day when there is no more hurt or suffering, but until that day we cling to this promise of our abba Father.

But thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Hold One of Israel, your Savior."

I write all this to help sort out my emotions but also for others who might be going through this same journey.   Know you are not alone in your hurt. It was very comforting to us to hear stories and be with others who have been where we are. We pray that through our suffering that God be glorified. He is a good God, he loves us, and he loves that baby too.